Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
