She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
