we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
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nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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