dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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