dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
