You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
