No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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