I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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