Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize