everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
