There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
