if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".