I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
