Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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