somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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