what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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