it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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