whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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