she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
