I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
