just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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