Grow some girl-balls and come out already
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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