Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
