google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
