I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
