I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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