I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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