D3 body, D1 cock
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
