You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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