farters have to be the big spoon...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
