We're facebook friends in real life
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
