i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
