I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
