I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Can you bring me the toilet please
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I feel like a drive thru vagina
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
