I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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