This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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