Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
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P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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