If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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