Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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