Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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