hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
