oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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