My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize