I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
