Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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