I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
