I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I did not marry a roomba.
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