Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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