you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
this is an emotional support booty call
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
