so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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