So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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