omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
