Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
