i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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