So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize