Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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