Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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