Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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